II. COASTAL CRUISING

10/10/00
Today, while testing the water and our developing skills, many of the elements and philosophies of sailing began to click in my slow-to-process gray matter. Currently, I see it this way: when sailing, every thought and action is motivated by an unending struggle to perfect the moment, given current conditions. You are on a course, destination defined. Your vehicle is made of wind, water, will, and, these days, a fiberglass hull. Utilizing all of your senses, you make an assessment of all that surrounds you, and then take action based upon what you've gleaned. Once underway, that process is perpetually repeated, almost ad infinitum. Observe, intuit, react. Trim your sheets, let them out, check your bearings, watch for puffs of wind! Always asking, "How can I better my present situation? How can I make the utmost of this moment!" A sailor lives in the now.

Steve Mize, a new found friend (and ad hoc personal psychotherapist) is oft heard to say, with a glee-baked mysticism, "Be in the moment!" At first I didn't get it. Today it clicked. Give me time Steve, I'm preparing to come about and catch up with you...hard alee!

*Update* -15 Dec '00- While walking to work this morning I was contemplating the challenging mental and spiritual process of transforming dream into reality. You have to "believe." Harder than it sounds. Before there can be any concrete forward movement towards the realization of a vision, there must be an almost inhuman committment to non-reality. My dream demands that I house firmly in my single being the seven seas, all the stars of the midnight sky, and a big boat--no small task. Fighting self-doubt has become a career; the highs are high, the lows find me in a cold basement. But lucky me, inevitably when my belief is beleagured and fading, a light pokes through and I am lifted, made a child again, able to dream undaunted and snuggle cozy in my blanket of easy believing. I have many to thank for their gifts of light. Today, I thank Gillian, a fellow dreamer, who shines relentlessly and asks nothing, but that you open your eyes to the light.